To study language and foster global view should be implement in the senior high school education. When we were children, we learned the though from the family and then in school as well. The most important part of the education is to development moral integrity not just what we learned from the text book. Study abroad can help students experience the different culture, study and use 2nd language, find out who they are and what they want. Although study abroad will cost a lot of money and resources from each families and government, the more advantage will appear on these students in the future.
To let 11th graders study abroad may cost a lot of money and resources. The poor people may not have enough money to afford their child to study abroad. Also, it may grater gap between poor and rich. Even though most people won't agree this idea, study local language in abroad is more efficient. Students usually spend a lot of time to study 2nd language, but the best way to learn is to use it. Living abroad can provide students a very good environment to practice what they learned.
Also, most parents may not agree with this idea because they wouldn't want their children take much adventure when they still under 20 years old. However, the future advantage for their children is obviously. World become a village, study abroad can help students directly experience the real culture in other country, adjust their opinion of value and eliminate prejudice.
Further more, study abroad also good at self-discovery. Students live with others, meet different kind of people, face and solve problems by themselves. When they came home to continue their education in senior high school, they are supposed to have idea for their future. That also can help them to decide their major for the university. We might not see many students waste too much time to find out what they want. The advantages for 11th grader to study abroad is obviously. To realize this idea need more supports from parents and government. It may cost a lot now, but will repay in the future, maybe near future.
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Yi-Hsuan, each paragraph looks great! You organized your points very well. Your grammar, though, makes your essay sound very rough. Be careful of correct word endings (verb tenses, nouns, and adj). Think about whether each word should be a verb, noun, adj, etc. and make sure you use the right form for it. Also, when you use the modal, "must", that means you believe they should be forced ot study abroad. Here, you are giving your opinion, so using the modal, "should" is a better choice.
-Julie
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